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Episode #182: 70 Pounds Down Through The Messy Middle with Katie S.

Sep 30, 2025

 

   

 

Summary 

Katie’s story isn’t just about losing 70 pounds, it’s about learning how to navigate the sticky, messy middle of a weight loss journey without giving up. In this conversation, she opens up about the tools that helped her shed the weight, the setbacks that tested her belief in herself, and the mindset shifts that made all the difference.

If you’ve ever thought “I know what to do, I’m just not doing it” or wondered how to keep going when motivation fades, this episode will speak directly to you. Katie shares how coaching transformed her relationship with food, her body, and even her family life—and why the real win goes far beyond the number on the scale.

 

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What You’ll Learn from this Episode:

  • The difference between being a carb-burner vs. a fat-burner, and why it changed everything for Katie
  • What it looks like to move through criticism—both external and internal—without crumbling under pressure
  • How she rebuilt trust with herself after setbacks and the messy middle
  • Why “fresh starts” can feel tempting but sabotage long-term results
  • How the tools she learned spilled over into her career, marriage, and parenting

 

Listen to the Full Episode:

 

 

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Download the full transcript here.

 

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    Dr. Priyanka Venugopal: Hey friends. I am so excited to bring you back to the Burn Stress, Lose Weight podcast where we are talking with one of my amazing clients. This is Katie. She's sharing how she got to 70 pounds down in our work together, and I love this conversation so much because she really gets into the sticky, messy middle. If you have been following this podcast for any length of time, you know that one of my. Favorite lessons to talk about. One of my favorite lessons to teach. One of the things that I want to validate for you, if you're someone that has a goal, but maybe you've hit a sticky, messy patch, maybe you lost some weight, but then you gained it back, if that has been you, I just want you to know that I see you and it is a very, very, very normal part of your journey. Welcome to being human. It is just how it goes. One of the things that I love Katie sharing on the podcast, and I'm so grateful that she was so forthcoming in her entire journey was how she initially lost weight. Quickly, some of the skills and tools that she learned at Unstoppable helped her become a fat burner. She talks about the exact role that that played when she became a fat burner, how that impacted her results on the scale, how it impacted her marriage and how she feels with her kids. The other piece of the process that we got into is the sticky, messy that she. Experienced last year, the challenges that she faced last year when she started to dip into disbelief last year and how she turned it around. I am so glad and so grateful that Katie came onto the podcast to share her story. And I don't even want to delay any further. I really want to get you listening to this podcast conversation and if what we're talking about in this conversation is resonating with you, if you are like, ooh, that is the work that I want to do as well, then I want to invite you to my upcoming training. It's happening in just a few weeks. You can get all the details over at burn stress Lose weight.com/training is going to be a live training where I talk through how to lose 10 pounds by the new year and get 10 hours back per week, not per month, per week. If you make clear decisions, which we're going to talk about on the training, and you make the right decisions, if you know how to handle the sticky, messy middle, which is going to be a part of any overachievers life, you are not just going to start winning on the scale. Start winning in how you feel you're going to get back hundreds of hours per year, which is what I call win win-wins. So if that is interesting to you, head over to www.burnstresslessweight.com/training. And without further ado, let's get into my conversation with Katie. Hey friends. Welcome back to the podcast. I am joined by my absolutely amazing, amazing client. This is Katie. Katie has been in the Unstoppable Group. She has experienced one of the most beautiful journeys that I have seen as a coach of all the clients that I have worked with. You hold such a special place in my heart. And you shared with me really recently, you emailed in after our work together, this before and after photo with the most touching email. And I reached out to you saying I needed to have you back on the podcast 'cause you have been on the podcast before, but it was a very different point in your journey. And I wanted to have you back and share what your journey has been like. Tell us a little bit about yourself. Where were you before The Unstoppable Group and how were you feeling?

    Katie S.: Yeah, so when I first joined Unstoppable, I was just a couple months postpartum with my second son and I had been flirting with weight loss coaching a lot with like podcasts and just different things that I had found online. But I fell in love with your podcast and that's what brought me to you. I actually remember, 'cause I found you kind of late and I was very nervous that your window to join your group had closed for when I wanted to do it. And so I remember emailing, I was so worried about it, but. Yeah, that's kind of where I was. And my weight had fluctuated quite a lot from the time I was a child, and especially in my adult years. I had lost a bunch of weight in college around college time, like 70 pounds. And then my weight was kind of going up and down 20 pounds multiple times a year for probably 10 years after that until I got pregnant. And then it just went up and up and up, basically. Yeah. So that's kind of where I was when I started.

     

    Dr. Priyanka Venugopal: Just to kind of give the audience a little bit of a picture. Mm-hmm. What do you think you had done in the past? 'cause you did lose a lot of weight, like you had lost that 70 pounds before, but then you would gain it back and then you'd lose the 20 and then you'd gain the 20. What were the strategies that you were trying that would help you lose the weight, and then why do you think that they weren't lasting?

    Katie S.: I think I was really just doing like binge restrict cycling. Now that I look back on it, it's really clear where there were like periods of time where I was really, really, really. Structured. I would like track every point, every calorie, like everything went in and I was really hard on myself and I would kind of double down and double down and double down. And then, you know, when I start making mistakes, there was no compassion, there was no gentle like veer back. It was either I gave up completely or I would just like beat myself back into submission. And then that's, I think that's what caused that kind of dramatic up and down over the months. 

    Dr. Priyanka Venugopal: When you kind of think back on those, because I remember when we first talked to you like, I'm not that critical of myself. I'm not, and and you and I are kind of similar. I think we've talked about this, where I'm like, I'm a half glass full kind of person. I'm an optimist. I'm not actually very critical or judgy. Yeah. But I think that that is part of kind of what you're describing. How did you start to catch that actually, maybe you're not so kind to yourself despite being maybe an optimist or like positive on the outside, what was happening for you on the inside?

    Katie S.: That's so funny because it was not subtle. The messaging in my own brain about it, like I think I would've described it at the time as like maybe like tough love or something like that, but it was just criticism. It was full on. It was just critical and kind of like, I don't understand why I'm not doing this. It wasn't criticism with curiosity. It was just like you kind of asking the question like, why can't I do this? Or like, what is wrong with me? But really it was. Needing the question of like, why is this really not working, like with compassion so that I could actually figure it out? And I think that was what was really missing from the equation. And I think even now still, I still catch it in certain periods of time I notice it. Maybe this is an overshare, but I notice it like around like. My period time, like I start getting those more critical thoughts back and I'm actually on the lookout for it because I know how it affects my mood when I'm acting like that towards myself. It gets better and better over time as I practice it. But yeah, I don't think I expected it to be quite as transformative as it was when it finally did click and like all the different aspects of my life that became better with it. I got a new job in the midst of coaching, and I think that if I hadn't been coaching at the time, I would've suffered so much. I went from this sort of job that I was super comfortable with was kind of high stress, but I was very comfortable there and I went to the OR instead, which is like a very high pressure. And if you don't have the skillset and there's nothing you can do, but like kind of deal with not having the skillset until you have it right. And I think having so much compassion for myself in those moments where other people were being critical of me. Maybe unfounded. 'cause I'm brand new. You know, I feel like I barely suffered in my changing of job compared to my first job that I took when I, like every day was like so hard to like start a new job and learn a new, a new job. If someone was critical of me, if the surgeon was critical of some way I was performing, I knew that if I was then critical of myself on top of that, that was not going to improve my performance very quickly. And. I think I just had now had the habit of being like, oh, I wonder why I didn't know how to do that, or I don't, I wonder why that wasn't working for us. And also being more aware that he or she is not fully aware of their own thoughts right now, or their own actions right now. Mm-hmm. And kind of all those pieces together was making me a little bit more realistic in the moment about what the stakes really were and what the situation really was. 

    Dr. Priyanka Venugopal: We get feedback, we can call it criticism. Sometimes it is criticism, like somebody might even directly be like, I have some critical feedback to give you. But I think the part that we don't realize this is that invisible burden we put on ourselves is our own criticisms on top of the feedback that we get. And I think that was the part that maybe you didn't know was happening. It's what takes a higher pressure job. And then we add on this like layer of, you know, my poop emoji stories. Yes. We just layer on a layer of shit on top of what already really stressful. And I feel like there was, it took you a little while to. See that layer that was optional and yes, decide that you actually don't need that anymore.

    Katie S.: That's definitely true. Like it took me a while of practicing it to realize that adding my own criticism to other people's criticism was not helping at all. That was a really good experience for me, and I think it made me a better provider overall too. 

    Dr. Priyanka Venugopal: When somebody is thinking about weight loss or feeling better, or they hear stories of transformation, I feel like one of the biggest barriers for women to decide to get into a coaching experience is this idea like, I know what to do. I'm just not doing it. I know what to do. Mm-hmm. And if I just did what I said I was gonna do, then I would lose this weight. Like what? Yeah. Why would coaching even help with that? Because I feel like you also kind of had that. But not really. Yeah. So tell us a little bit about like yeah, that thought and what it was about the coaching group and the skills and tools you learned that like helped you bridge that gap.

    Katie S.: Yeah, so I think I came in with sort of this attitude of like, I know what to do, I just kind of need accountability and I like her messaging and she seems really nice and like she's not gonna be hard on me 'cause like I don't like that that much. I just like need gentle encouragement. I think that's kind of what I was looking for and I think that what I learned through the program is that there are like, can I use your expression of, am I allowed to say swear words in the ass? 

    Dr. Priyanka Venugopal: Oh, the attack in the ass, my friends. Oh, there's so attacks in your ass. 

    Katie S.: So those are really essential to be pointed out to you. And there were a few times where you pointed something out to me like, Hey, this is a thing you do. And I was like, maybe. But then it took like several times before I was like, oh yeah, indecision is a big problem for me in a lot of areas. And pointing out. Being able to kind of see those threads that are invisible to me because I. I'm living it all the time in my mind and having somebody listening to you and seeing all those connections and being able to pull them together, like you can't do that on your own. You can't see it on your own. I think you can make a lot of progress on your own with like mindset shifts, but I think having you telling me. Showing me more so what my invisible thoughts were. They're, yeah, they're kinda like invisible thoughts. Pointing them out to me is what really challenged me and like kind of pushed my success forward really fast.

    Dr. Priyanka Venugopal: That was one of the things that was a light bulb experience for you. But wait a second. Let's see. This very common thread, because you have one brain. It clearly touches every part of your life. So when you see the threads, you're like, oh, it turns out it's not just like a lack of discipline. Like there is a mindset gap for me that is getting in the way of me taking really bold, courageous, mm-hmm. Like audacious action, which. I think that's what high achievers want. Yeah. I mean, you tell me what you think? 

     

    Katie S.: 100%. That was my experience and it became almost funny to find it again and again and be like, oh, there it's again, you know? Like in a whole new situation. Yeah, yeah. Oh man. I just remember laughing about it so many times, but for me it's a couple different ones, one of them is like, I don't know what I'm doing or like there's a perfect way to do this. Somebody must know how to do this, or trying to find like the perfect answer to a question and it leaves me in this like cycle of indecision. So that's one of mine that I like to do. I remember we pointed it out in a couple of different spots, but most recently, I think with deciding what to do about my son's school and like not realizing it was really, I was worried. I was talking about him, him, him, like, he's gonna have this problem. And I'm like, no, this is me having an indecision problem actually. So I remember it there. I mean, that was from the very start, like even with my food plan, like I could, I just was having a lot of trouble committing to my way of eating or my strategy. Mm-hmm. I remember that just like indecision, like wanting it to be exactly right and not being willing to be wrong off the bat, and then. Adjust. So I think that would, that's been one of my big ones.

    Dr. Priyanka Venugopal: Tell us a little bit about the actual weight loss part of your journey. What did it look like? Where were the parts that felt super easy? What happened when it got hard? I wanna hear about like your sticky, messy moments in seasons, which we all experienced, but I wanna shed a light on it. Tell us about your journey there.

    Katie S.: I'd love to. So in the beginning, I lost a lot of weight off the bat, I think. When we say 40 pounds, like within the first six months, I was just like glowing, so excited, like so fresh with new thoughts and ideas and excitement. And I remember, I can hear that on the podcast we did last time, like how like excited I was about all the things I had learned. 

    Dr. Priyanka Venugopal: And I love that. And before we get into the messy, before we, because I know we're about to, we're about to get into Messy before we get there, what was the specific thing for you, like the top two or three things that made it feel simple, easy. For you to lose 40 pounds in six months and literally feel like you were going like, this is simple. I had no idea. It could be simple. Like, what was it that made it so simple for you? And then we'll get into sticky, messy. 

    Katie S.: I think one of the things was becoming a fat burner and knowing what that felt like and how that felt different from just like burning carbs all the time. And it was part of the program that I actually resisted quite a bit at first too. I mean, I was kind of game for it, but I was nervous. But that turned out to be pretty much essential for the first steps in getting a handle on like, what does it actually feel like to be hungry in a normal metabolism way? And I think like that has. Changed the way I see hunger and how it affects me. And I think I used to be so sensitive to hunger, like I would get so stressed and upset about being hungry and worried about it. And I'd be so mean when I was hungry too. And I know that's all stuff, that's all like. Common for people who, you know, just burn carbs all the time. So first of all, like recentering into like kind of a more normal metabolism has given me the space to experiment more with like, which foods actually feel really good to me and when am I actually full and how much do I really need? I learned that really early in the program, but then comes in like all the emotional side. Eating for emotional reasons. And that's kind of the second piece that had to fall into place for me and starting to deal with those. Like once I was out of that honeymoon period in the very beginning and like, okay, now I'm like having urges. Now we're having urges. Urges are back and I can't just overcome them with motivation. So then learning that skill of what to do with an urge and how to, how to respond to it and how to. Fail at responding to it without eating. 'cause there were many times when I was getting, I remember being frustrated, and this was even early on in the program when I was still losing really well where I would like give into an urge and how to like emotionally respond to giving into the urge and like becoming comfortable with that situation of not having a perfect moment, almost having to practice imperfection with it and without changing the plan.

    Dr. Priyanka Venugopal: In your first six months. I remember one of the things that you shared with me that. Felt like it helped you do the work of the first six months? Was that personal promise? It's like in the strategy mini class. The personal promise is I will never, ever, ever let myself just be hungry again. I promise I will eat when my body's hungry, I promise. And if I ever deprived myself of food when I was hungry to lose weight, like I have to go back and apologize to that past self that did that. Like there, there was like a healing thing that happened, I think For sure. And I think also you tell me like there's some part of, I think especially for overachievers, I feel like that's too good to be true. Mm-hmm. I think a lot of overachievers believe like, no, no, no. I need to deprive myself and restrict myself and be hungry to lose weight. Because that's the messaging you got. Mm-hmm. But we also. Scientifically just doesn't work. So what, I'm just curious what your experience of actually eating more food like protein and plants and fiber, like actually feeling satiated, what the impact of that piece of it was for you in the first six months?

    Katie S.: I think there's definitely a moment of trust and that you have to just like take the leap on it and just believe it, because I definitely relate to that where I'm like, it's too good to be true. That was when I was still a car burner. And I was still like not really balanced in that way, where like my hunger cues weren't even really real. And now I think it's very hard to believe it until you experience it. It's just like taking that leap of faith. Yeah. And knowing like. Maybe it won't work for you. That's definitely possible. Yeah. And if that happens, you'll still figure it out. I'm so impatient. I wanted it to work right away, and I'm glad that it did. But now in hindsight, looking back on it, I think that knowing that. I wasn't in a race, was what gave me the courage to try it. 

    Dr. Priyanka Venugopal: You know, the whole criticism piece where you didn't realize that you were actually very critical. I feel like you only realized that after the first six months. Oh yeah. Yeah. So, you know, so you lost about 40 pounds in the first six months and you sort of feeling better. You're glowing with transformation. You're realizing that your thoughts create so much of your life, life experience as a mom and in the workplace. Mm-hmm. What happened after that? Like how did we catch your criticism and like what was the impact of your criticism and then how did you walk out of it?

    Katie S.: I think that it was just a different way of handling uncertainty. I handle it very differently internally now, but now I have more of a practice where if there's something that's causing anxiety, I notice that is happening, something is going awry here. Whereas previously when those moments would happen, I would kind of spiral or like I'd be looking for some like comfort outside of myself. And now there's a practice of oh, this is happening internally. And I'll even say that to my husband. I'll be like, whew, I've got a lot going on inside right now. Like I, I'm sorting it out, but just so you know, and whereas before, like I would just like take that out on him or like expect him to fix it somehow. I would be looking at in my external environment trying to fix it when really it's something happening inside that needs like calmed. And I think I've really gotten good at. Noticing that I'm not always good at fixing it right in the moment. Yeah. But at least I, I know it now and I'm not making it worse by, yeah adding my critical thoughts or adding critical thoughts of the things around me and those sort of things. And that's been the shift. 

     

    Dr. Priyanka Venugopal: One of the things that you shared in that email, you shared this before and after photo, and you said that these photos, like the one photo on the left is. You know, it's very dark, it's serious. It has a heavy heart with the responsibility and stress, and you show this after photo with you 70 pounds down, showing this colorful rainbow tie dye shirt with your sunglasses and your new bangs with your boys. And I think that this is exactly what we're talking about. It doesn't have to be perfect. That's the ride, that's the, that's the whole ride of being a human. 

    Katie S.: And this has been so powerful for my kids, or realizing it for my kids too, because I've acknowledged like every emotion is. Acceptable within myself. I mean, they're not all comfortable, but everyone there, that's, that's the human existence is that feelings are all meant to be there. They're all meant to be felt, and one is not better than the other. They all are just telling you something. And I think I've gotten really aware that if I'm having a negative emotion, that there's probably something that. I'm missing that, that needs attention. It's not comfortable, but there is kind of this like sense of empowerment where I get like a little bit of an excitement out of like, okay, let's figure this out. Because I'm still a problem solver.

    Dr. Priyanka Venugopal: Course, of course. We don't change. I feel like that's the thing I, I really, you tell me, Katie, whether this feels true for you, but a big part for me is like you don't become a different person. I think when you are. Going through a coaching experience, but you just get to find the best version of you and get to like release her. She's always been there. Mm-hmm. The problem solver, the one that gets stuff done, that is what the overachiever is. Yeah. And I just think that sometimes it gets shrouded in this cloud of uncertainty and inner critical thoughts and ru rumination and overthinking and then be like, it's like we dampen our own light. So it's not like you turn into a different person. It's like the person you've always been just kinda gets to shine. 

    Katie S.: That has been my experience. Like you put it perfectly, I can't describe it any other way. Like I feel like I've come to myself, like I'm more authentically myself now without the this like kind of cloud of anxiety and worries and yeah, criticisms. It's way less pressure. I'm not adding more pressure to myself. I mean, there's already so many pressures in the outside world, you know, and I don't need to add to it by not trusting that I can handle it and just criticizing myself into figuring it out right away. 

    Dr. Priyanka Venugopal: So you shared like the first part, the first 40 pounds. What was it that was hard about the next 30? 'cause you're mm-hmm. Down a total of 70 pounds, which is wild and amazing. What was the hardest part about the second half of your journey and how did you get through? The sticky, messy. I talk about the messy, sticky middle. I feel like most people do not talk about it enough. I really wanna shed light on the sticky, messy, because that's where most overachievers, they keep recreating, they undo, they sabotage, they gain it back, and I feel like you kept your foot on the gas. You might not have lost weight linearly, but you kept your foot on the gas. Like what was it that helped you do that?

    Katie S.: First of all, I wanna say that I love seeing in the group, the people who are still, who are like right now in the sticky, messy, because I just, I'm like so hopeful for them when I, when they come out on the other side. So when my sticky messy was definitely precipitated by the miscarriage I had in the. You know, like a year ago, and I had kind of went a little bit backwards. I had gained a little bit of weight, not, not a little bit, I mean 10 to 15 pounds I had gained back and I just felt, so, yeah, I was sad and then I was also discouraged and just not. Wanting to start over and also like dealing with my own grief around the situation. And just like that was like the poop pile. I just, every week I remember coming to coaching like, I want it, but I don't want it. I want it, but I don't want, I don't know what I want. And then last summer there was kind of this moment where I just, I don't know, something clicked with me in coaching where I was just like, I, i'm just gonna keep trying. I'm like, I'm not gonna put too much pressure on it. I'm not gonna get too attached to the outcome, but I'm just going to keep trying to feel better in my body and work with my body and stop criticizing my body for having a miscarriage and gaining weight back. And that was something that was like, it was so deeply impactful to release that we're together, me and my body are together. Like I, it's not me against you. And I think there was something in that like connection that finally like clicked for me. I think the miscarriage happening was really like what illuminated that for me, where it was like you're blaming your body for these problems, everything that you think is wrong with your body. And I work in gynecology, so I know it's not my fault. So I think having that experience together was really the whole, that was just like the master plan of having to do that to get to where I am. And it took a long time, like even after, yeah. I mean, I, I lost the initial weight that I gained back, and then there was another stagnant period where I was just mm-hmm. Having a lot of indecision about what I wanted and that was, yeah. Not. Giving me results. And then I think I had another kind of breakthrough in, in the winter time when I decided not to care about the numbers anymore and just think about feeling good in my body. And then I released a little bit more weight, and now I've been pretty steady for a few months. Yeah, where, where I'm at, my goal weight. 

    Dr. Priyanka Venugopal: I think, you know, in the very beginning it's helpful to have some kind of a metric where you're like, okay, I'm losing X amount of weight and this shows me that my strategy is effective. It helps me highlight what are the parts, where are my strategic gaps? That's what I always love to teach at the very start. But I think what happened also for you is there came a point, and this is going to happen to everyone on their journey at some point, but you get it when you get it that it's not about the numbers anymore. And it's very hard for an overachiever to hear that. They're like, no, no, no, no, no. It is exactly like there's a three digit number and I want it to come down a percent body fat. I want it to come down. Mm-hmm. And it keeps us so disconnected from what actually feels good for our body, like inside out to connect our head to the rest of our body. And I think the reframe came when we said, what if we just released all of those expectations and we just focused on what actually feels good for you Now. And that might mean me change the goal. That might mean maybe this is it, maybe 40 pounds was exactly where you needed to go, but it's almost like where you wanted to go started to reveal itself to you, and you started to just trust yourself with that.

    Katie S.: Yeah, that's exactly how it happened. And I agree the beginning with the metrics and everything, while you're still figuring things out, it was really encouraging. But what's really important, I think, on the journey, at least my journey was coming to that place of. Being connected to my own body and feeling strong as well 'cause I, I'm big on working out as well. So that was part of the, I mean that was also part of the reason like I stalled in some points was 'cause I was like doing a lot of exercising. 

    Dr. Priyanka Venugopal: What do you think was the impact of having a coach in your corner as you navigated the stagnant periods and the messy middle and the sticky moments? What was the impact of not doing it alone? 

    Katie S.: I think that the difference is that there were many moments. When I was in the sticky, messy middle, when I could have easily reverted to the old way, and I would've had some skills still from the coaching that I had done already, but having you there sticking it out with me and seeing that I was in a moment. I'm pointing it out to me and just like sitting there with me and giving those like kind of gentle guideposts. It was everything in the moment because otherwise I would've reverted fully and then I would've had to come back. It made the deviation off the path much gentler. Than just like she's gone off the deep end. She's gonna have to really make her way back. And eventually I would have, 'cause I know myself, I would've eventually gotten back. Yeah. And I probably would've eventually sought you out again. But if I hadn't already, like had been with you at that moment, I think it would've been. A much more dramatic experience with a lot more weight gain most likely. 

    Dr. Priyanka Venugopal: This is for every human. When you are navigating the sticky, messy, when you have undesirable results, maybe you've gained some weight back or you're experiencing something really difficult like you did. I remember for you, there was also like this. You started to feel like you couldn't believe in yourself. When you had enough weeks in a row where you're in the sticky, messy, like, you know, the poop emoji, you're like smack dab in the middle of this poop emoji. And like the poop has hardened. My friends like, we're, we're in there. We're trying to knock, and, and it just, yeah. What also started to happen wasn't just that you felt you were becoming stagnant. You were also starting to dip into the disbelief of like, is this even possible for me? So how did you go from flirting with the disbelief and then coming back out to the other side where you started to believe in yourself again and started to trust yourself again and like come back into that space. 

    Katie S.: I didn't really let go of the disbelief. I just borrowed your belief. I just trusted you in the moment that like if I do these little experiments and I get to this point. And just see, and I think we really, we changed my goals quite a lot. So just these like little shifts and like reaching these differently worded type of goals that were kind of aimed towards the same thing, but not obviously I think was what kind of rebuilt that for me. This is something that I actually talk to my son a lot. He plays soccer and he gets very nervous. About whenever there's something new on the field, like a different coach is there, like there's different kids there, something like that. Or he misses a goal and he'll run off the field and he'll hide under the bench and he will be, well, you say shenanigans. It's shenanigans. Okay. He just abandons the game and he's a decent soccer player. So when he's not there, his team starts losing and I will say to him, I'm like, I know you're upset that you didn't score a goal, but you are definitely not scoring a goal from under this bench. There will be no goals scored from under this bench. That's right, and I think it's the same thing, like if you don't even take any actions at all, then you definitely won't hit your goal. So you shouldn't be afraid of how much time it's going to take. That time is gonna pass anyway regardless. And then you've taken no action. 

    Dr. Priyanka Venugopal: How has this work? I mean, of course you've lost the 70 pounds and I love like the before and after photos of like the all black to the rainbow tie dye and the bangs. How has this work that we've done together. Influenced and impacted your relationships with your partner, with your kids, your family dynamic? Like how has it trickled into your immediate family? 

    Katie S.: I think it's made such a big difference. I think it's taken a lot of pressure off my husband to like, quote unquote make me happy because he, he's one of the, he will try and I, I have had to tell him, you cannot make me happy. Only I can make me happy. If you're trying to make me happy and it's not working, like that's not your fault. I've noticed it took a lot of times of saying that or pointing that out to him, but now I, I notice that it doesn't hurt him as much when I'm not happy 'cause I've said that to him so many times. So that's like our relationship and I don't depend on him. To make me happy and then get mad at him when he can't. Like that was the other part. That aspect has shifted a lot in our, my marriage, but then also with my kids. It's been, I think, even way more important, just like the way I handle the variety of emotions and the fact that they have little minds of their owns that I can't control. And also my older son is, has a lot of similar traits to me. Like he, he's definitely got that kind of, I wanna do it perfectly or I'm not gonna do it at all attitude. Right, right. And I think that has been so enlightening to see it given that indecision that like, I want you to tell me how to do it because I can't do it perfectly without you. Right. So seeing that reflected back to me and knowing, having at least an end goal of how to handle it instead of just seeing it and feeling bad about it, like I think I know how I can help you get to where we both need to be on indecision and perfectionism. It's been a really great connecting point with him to have that similar trait. 

    Dr. Priyanka Venugopal: I feel like whenever our kids are like, oh, I don't know what to do, because we love them so much, we want to just tell them what to do because often as moms, we know exactly what they should be doing. Right. We have the exact roadmap. I think that that works in certain areas and certain decisions, but a lot of the times it creates this experience, I think for our children where they stay disempowered. Mm-hmm. They never discover, wait a second, I could maybe figure this one out and maybe it's okay that I make the wrong choice. And I also figure that out. And like, I think what my goal, at least for all of us in, in the group is we not only unlock our own empowerment. Where I'm coaching you, and I'm your guide for you to see that. Mm-hmm. You get to start doing that in little ways with your, like your little people. The people that are coming to you where you're like, wait, I can be your guide and also you can be so empowered to figure this out. 

    Katie S.: I was just thinking that. I was thinking, you know, Priyanka’s voice became my internal voice and now her voice is becoming Henry's internal voice through me too.

    Dr. Priyanka Venugopal: Yeah, and I would say this about my coach, like I feel like it changes generations. I really do. I think it does.

    Katie S.: I agree with you too because I think, I think that I really have started to believe just experiencing motherhood myself. I can see how generational pain is like transferred from person to or from family member to family member, and I can feel more empowered now too. Give him the tools that will stop that cycle. Yeah. Yeah. And just help him live a more peaceful life. 

    Dr. Priyanka Venugopal: As long as we just stay steady. Yeah. We keep believing in them. I know that you can get out from under that like bleacher, whenever you're ready, you will. Whenever you're ready. Well, we like hold that without getting ourselves all worked up. Yeah. At some point they'll get their brain like, oh, she believes in me, so maybe I can go do this actually. And like then they go.

    Katie S.: I know that's so funny that you pointed out that sometimes you put things out there that I don't pick up for sure. I definitely noticed that there were certain things, part of the curriculum you have that I kind of just like skim over, like the mindfulness one. I'm like, yeah, yeah, yeah. And then it just becomes later on when things. Shift a lot in your brain and then you're like, oh, okay, now I'm ready to really receive that part of the program. Yeah, so I've really, I've really enjoyed that aspect of it too because at first it like a lot of information, but the pieces, and you'll internalize it as the time goes on and as you're ready for the information for sure. 

    Dr. Priyanka Venugopal: Yeah. When you. Kind of think about your journey and you think about the weight loss piece of it, but also like really this like transformational part of it for you inside out. What would you say to anyone that's listening to the podcast, that's been considering coaching, that's been considering the group, but they've been on the fence about it. They're like, maybe I can just do this myself. I can listen to the podcast and have Priyanka in my ear, and that's enough. What would you say to that person that's been on the fence that's like, I can just figure this out maybe, hopefully from the podcast.

     

    Katie S.: I think I would say like you definitely can figure it out on your own. However, it's really, really nice to have a support person who, and especially. Like in a small group setting where like you really, I mean, I feel like you know me better than I know myself at this point at times. Mm-hmm. And having someone who pays attention to you individually and knows your patterns and can point them out to you, I think you just make such different progress than you make on your own 'cause I, I've always been a person that, you know, like listens to like self-help podcasts and does things and like, wants growth. I really, yeah, that's one of my top values is just growth as a person. Yeah, and I have never felt as transformed as I did from Unstoppable. And I think it's just having that person to see it and bounce it off you and know you and actually really care about you individually and your goals. Yeah. And also it's not a goal you have for me, it's you supporting my goal, right? Mm-hmm. Which I think is different from a lot of other, like you could do like coaching at a gym or get a personal trainer, but it feels more like they have a goal for you. It's kind of, it's a very different experience probably than anything I've done before.

    Dr. Priyanka Venugopal: How did you experience getting the personal attention, the personal support, really customized to your journey? Picking up on your threads, your kind of common patterns. And also balancing that with learning from the other smart women in the group, like. What did you feel like was the balance for you? Did you like having both pieces? What was the value for you now doing group coaching? 

    Katie S.: Like I wouldn't change anything. I think I would've wanted, if the option was to do one-on-one all the time, I would've picked that initially just because it's vulnerable. It is. It's a vulnerable situation. Yeah. But everybody's willing to be vulnerable in the group, and I think. You kind of get to know the people in the group and you learn from them and their growth too. And then as you know, if you stay in the program for a long period of time, like I did, you eventually start to see your old patterns in the new incoming people. Mm-hmm. And it's like healing in a way to see that it's like, oh yeah. Like I remember when that I have so much compassion for you. And also the past, my past self, and like I get kind of excited for the people who are. In those early phases and figuring out those like early struggles that come with the program and seeing them go through it and conquer it. And I'm just like, it's just a beautiful little cycle.

    Dr. Priyanka Venugopal: It is. And you don't actually think about your past, like where you were when we first started. You don't think about her very often, right? Yeah. You don't just, that's just the nature of like, we're busy and we're thinking about our next growth goal and like how we wanna improve ourselves moving forward so we don't look backwards very often, right. There is something very. Special about looking back at where you were and having so much gratitude for Yeah, the decision she made, the courage she had because I under like, I think joining the Unstoppable Group is a courageous decision and also I feel like it's kind of a no-brainer, simple. 

    Katie S.: That is true. I look back at myself with gratitude for getting to where I am and pride as well, and. I think the group as well. I mean, it also, you know, there, there are times when I'm not feeling as active and having everyone else coming in with coaching. It kind of like reinspire. So I think that helps in those kind of moments of, all right, like I've been doing this for a while i'm in the poop pile. And then just like taking a step back from being like the direct center of attention. Mm-hmm. Of it and just watching other people's journey and feeling inspired by that. I didn't think of that earlier in the conversation when we were talking about what got me outta the poop pile, but I think that was part of it where I'm just like kind of watching other people move forward and following these stories and feeling supportive of them, and then eventually having the courage to also support myself in the hard time as well.

     

    Dr. Priyanka Venugopal: Yeah. I think in being in a group where you get both pieces, like learning from these people and also having your. Coach, I'm just your coach, and also you get to hear kind of the coaching that other people get to experience. 

    Katie S.: I feel like I got plenty of attention. Yeah. I could have gotten more too. I mean, you can, I don't know. I, I didn't reach the limit on what I could get and I felt fully attended to put it that way.

    Dr. Priyanka Venugopal: Yeah. I think that we, we, we designed the, the program to really meet you at your pace. That's what I, I think I try to tell everybody when they first start, I will move at your pace. You want to move fast? Yeah. I will meet you. We will move fast. If you wanna move slow, we are going to go at your pace because you are guiding, this is your journey. Yeah, and I think that. If somebody really hears me say that, and if they pick up what I put down, we go exactly the way that you wanna go. The program is designed for that.

    Katie S.: I definitely experienced that. So I, we started out at a fast pace and then there was like a long lull. Yeah a couple of them. And then like, you know, I'd come back and I'd be, and then I'd go back into a lull and yeah. I never felt. Pressured or shamed. You were meeting me right where I was, right where I needed to be at the moment.

    Dr. Priyanka Venugopal: Just to wrap up, if you hear, if somebody listening to the podcast who's feeling kind of overwhelmed and stuck on the scale and they want to experience even a fraction of what you're talking about, of this transformation. But they have this idea that they don't have enough time or. You know, it's a big financial investment. What would you say to them about time and money if they decided to do this program?

    Katie S.: I think people who are interested in losing weight, spend a lot of money in their lifetime on finding the right strategy. I can see how the initial cost upfront might be, you know, if you're constantly looking at things and buying programs and doing training. Nutrition plans and getting meals sent to your house and that sort of thing. It might feel like a lot more than those things, but it's really not, if you put it in perspective of a, how lasting it is and how like comprehensive it is, as far as the time aspect of it, it's actually not that much time. That's why I was struggling to come up with a time because it kind of gives you time. Yeah. I would say that like you actually get a lot of time back because we call them magic action decisions. Like you have these kind of decisions in place and it's upfront a, a kind of a time investment that you have to make these plans. But instead of like questioning every single day what you're gonna have for lunch and whether it's gonna be the french fries or whether it's gonna be the salad, you kind of know you have your strategy, you have your way of doing it. Ultimately, I feel like I spend a lot less time thinking about. All of that than I ever have in my life. It was like almost like a negative time investment. 

    Dr. Priyanka Venugopal: Yeah. Well actually I've been on this new kick, 'cause I've done the math now, as you know. I do. I have a tendency of doing these things. I've been doing the math on, especially talking to clients, hearing kind of their feedback, and when they go through the process, they make magic action decisions. They start putting them into action. The math that I have been seeing is clients are getting back 10 to 18 hours of time per week. 

     

    Katie S.: I think so too because it's not just about the decisions around food and exercise, like that's the surface level. Because then once you learn the skills and they, you start like applying, you naturally start applying the same structure to other areas of your life 'cause it works very well. Yeah. To know in advance what you're gonna do. So I have things from Unstoppable that are now like creeping over into my workplace where it's like, okay, I've already decided this is how I'm doing this. I'm not gonna like ruminate on it for too long. So even things I'm doing at work differently because of magic action decisions and like my whole house is like on autopilot now because of magic action decisions. Like I decide ahead of time when I'm gonna do that and then it, it makes a big difference in. The time I would normally spend just thinking about when I would do that. That makes sense. 

    Dr. Priyanka Venugopal: Yeah. It creeps into everything. It totally does. This is like I'm talking about 10 hours just in your weight loss experience. You get that back. Yeah, and what you're talking about is you're probably getting back 10 hour chunks in every corner. It's thousands of hours per year. That is. At least from my experience, it's that that's the invisible drain that a lot of professional women who are overachievers, we really are like either perfectionists overtly or kind of secretly, where like hundreds and thousands of hours are just slipping by us because we are overthinking over ruminating. Yeah, over strategizing and then second guessing the plan. Right. And then changing everything. And then changing everything, and then starting from scratch. And then now we have a mountain that we need to undo. It's thousands of hours. And I think that's the number one commodity for Yeah, professional women. It's like, I just want to have more time. I want to be present with my family. I want to have more joy in my life. I wanna be more satisfied. And it's like we're depriving ourselves of that because we don't have this framework and structure in place. 

    Katie S.: I can't think of her name right now, but there's another famous person who calls this trash bag energy. Have you heard of this? Where like you, like you feel like nothing's working, so you just take out the trash bags and you like start everything over again and you replan. I was such a trash bag energy mom. Like I, I had so much trash bag energy, I would restart. Everything from scratch when it didn't feel right, instead of making small adjustments.

    Dr. Priyanka Venugopal: The reason that a lot of, especially professional women love the fresh start energy, which is like, let's just start from scratch. It's because you get a natural gust of motivation that fresh start is attached to it's married to their two peas in a pod, your brain's going to experience motivation. Yeah, because there's a newness and motivation and excitement around newness feels way better than troubleshooting that tiny stuck experience that you're in and making the tiny tweak and figuring out that sticky, messy, yeah, figuring out the sticky, messy is uncomfortable. And because we don't have emotional super skills to handle the discomfort, we're like, let's just fresh start 'cause I need the excitement and the motivation. So that's addictive. But it also keeps us completely ne like we just don't create momentum in so many areas of our life because we feel like we need to be motivated. 

    Katie S.: I think I've heard you explain that to me at least. I don't know five other times and it just landed differently this time.

    Dr. Priyanka Venugopal: There we go. We're coaching right on the call. Yeah. It's just so good to catch. 'cause I know that a lot of us, especially when you're very, very busy and you're, and you're working a lot like the shiny object syndrome or like the feeling of a fresh start is important. I'm not trying to take away from the value of fresh start. Like New Year's has a natural, it's beautiful, or a birthday or joining this program. Like we want to have that, but that should not be where your result, what your results are hinging on. If you notice that you jump ship every time you get uncomfortable. That's where your coaching is. That's what we need to look at, because if we don't change that, you're never going to create sustainable results. I mean, it's just not gonna happen. 

    Katie S.: I definitely experienced that too.

    Dr. Priyanka Venugopal: I love it. Thanks Katie, for being on the podcast and everyone, I hope you'll have an amazing week. Bye. I hope you enjoyed my conversation with Katie. I just adore her. I'm so glad that she came onto the podcast to share her story, not just in how she lost 70 pounds, which is amazing and wild. My favorite part about her entire story is her bangs. She sent this photo to me with kind of this before and after photo, which really just revealed not just again, a number on the scale, but how she feels. That experience of going from that dark and kind of gloomy place. I kind of thinkof Eeyor from Winnie the Pooh to this really bright and colorful and bold experience that she's having now, which I just love for her. So I'm so glad that you got to experience Katie. Not just her wins, but how she showed up for herself in the process, how she held. Through it how she borrowed my belief in her. That was one of my favorite parts about what she shared. Not just that she experienced transformation in Unstoppable, but she stuck with it even when she experienced sticky, messy, and she borrowed my belief in her, which is how she got to the other side. Hope you enjoy today's conversation, and if you know that this is work you want to be doing, I really would love to see you live on our upcoming training. You can get all the details, the date, the time, the nuts and bolts. Grab your seat for free over at burnstressloseweight.com/training, and right after the training, I'm opening up doors to my next cohort of the Unstoppable Group, six months of group coaching where you get science and strategy back on your side so you feel better. So you're losing weight with a coach in your corner and you're not guessing anymore. You're not making piecemeal spaghetti on the wall attempts at losing the weight that you want to lose and feeling better. I'm here to help you support your hormone health with science led strategy, not fads and gimmiks. And the first step is joining me on this training. So go grab your seat over at burnstressloseweight.com/training. And I cannot wait to see you live, really come live because we have some juicy bonuses if you attend live, and it's going to be seriously the best hour of your entire week. I hope you guys all have an amazing day, and I will see you at the next one. Bye. Thanks for spending this time with me on the Burn Stress, Lose Weight podcast today. I hope that you are leaving today's podcast episode feeling a little lighter and more inspired than when we started. It turns out. That you don't need to have a stress-free life to hit your goals on and off the scale, but when you feel more empowered to respond to your real life stresses, with true strategy, we will game change how we show up, and how we hit our goals. If you wanna take what you are learning here on the podcast and put it into real life implementation, it might be time for us to work together in the Burn Stress, Lose Weight, Feel Unstoppable coaching program. Head over to burnstressloseweight.com and you can learn all of the details, the nuts, the bolts, when the next group is starting and exactly how you can join. Okay, friend, I'll see you next time.



     

     

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