Summary 

Ever wonder why you reach for a snack or scroll through your phone when you’re not actually hungry? It’s not because you’re weak or lazy—it’s brain science. Your brilliant brain has learned that these rituals provide a quick hit of dopamine, making them hard to resist. But the problem is, those habits also keep you stuck, sabotaging your weight loss goals and leaving you feeling frustrated.

In this episode, I’m sharing an excerpt from a recent coaching call where I taught my clients how to rewire their brains using the power of dopamine. You’ll learn how to create new rituals that actually serve you without relying on willpower alone.

Learn more: https://www.burnstressloseweight.com/ 

Get the Hormones Training: https://www.burnstressloseweight.com/hormones 

What You’ll Learn from this Episode:

• Why your brain defaults to snacking, scrolling, and procrastinating—and why it’s not your fault.
• How dopamine creates habits—and how you can use it to create new ones.
• The secret to replacing old rituals with new ones that give you lasting results.
• Why "working harder" won’t get you to your goal—and what will.
• How to create a specific, step-by-step ritual to break free from old habits.

Listen to the Full Episode:

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Featured on the Show:

• Want to work with me? Learn about The Burn Stress, Lose Weight Group by clicking here. 
• Episode 128: Snacking Stress Types: The Escapist
• Episode 129: Snacking Stress Types: The Advocate
• Episode 130: Snacking Stress Types: The Procrastinator
• Episode 131: Snacking Stress Types: The People Pleaser
• Get the Hormones Training by clicking here.

Download the full transcript here.

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  The only reason that we ever eat when our body is not actually hungry is because our brilliant brain wants a break from stress. Or you maybe want to reward yourself for working really hard. One of the things that I have seen in my own experience in my own weight loss struggles with being up and down on the scale has always come down to not feeling like I had a better alternative to actually take breaks from my very busy life. There are literally four stress types that will ever drive the smartest overachiever to not follow her plan to have a little snack or a little nibble or a little graze. I talked about this on the podcast back in episodes 128-131, where we got into the escapist, the advocate, the procrastinator, and the people pleaser. These four stress types really touched on our habits. Where is our habit to overeat, snack, nibble, graze, scroll, or procrastinate ever come from? If we can understand where our habits are coming from, how they have been rewarded and celebrated for decades, we can sometimes start to drop the judgment. And the embarrassment and maybe some of the self criticism in why this has ever been a struggle today on the podcast I am really excited to bring you an excerpt from a recent coaching call where I was teaching my clients how to change our deepest, oldest habits by using and hacking brain science. Specifically, we're going to be talking about. How you can start to leverage using dopamine to rewire your brain with habits that are going to actually serve you to help you hit your goal, to help you create weight loss momentum this year, and to do it in a way that doesn't require the drag. Here's what I mean by drag, most of the time overachievers, and this is myself included, sometimes think that we just have to double down. We have to work harder. We have to do more to hit our goals. And it makes a lot of sense that you've thought this way, because this has likely worked for you in your personal life and in your professional life. But when it comes to hitting a body goal, just working harder, We're working more or doubling down doesn't work. And you'll know that this is true because you have likely tried that approach in the past. It works for a short while before your very normal willpower starts to wax and wane. That motivational high starts to wax and wane and it's just not enough for you to sustain results. This brings me to today's topic, which is going to focus on rituals, the habit to over snack or scroll your phone. Once the kids are in bed to do that, what I like to call the evening plop down where you're snuggled with your Netflix and maybe a glass of wine. And the, in my case, it used to be Cool Ranch Doritos or popcorn and just eat when your body's not actually hungry was a ritual. And it was a ritual that worked really well as a busy OBGYN. When I was on call throughout the week, or when I had middle of the night deliveries or back to back patients, and then I had these two kids who were quite a handful plus my life that I was trying to manage, it made a lot of sense that my brain simply wanted a break. I wanted to reward myself. for working really hard. And I wanted a break from the busy life stresses that I was experiencing as a professional mom. Very, very brilliantly. My brain created rituals. So that ritual where the kids are in bed and you pour yourself a glass of wine, you grab some chips, or you walk into the pantry and you sit down to watch your Netflix or scroll your phone is simply a ritual and it's a ritual that has been rewarded. It's why it ever turned into a habit. because it actually works when you snack, nibble, graze, when you scroll your phone, when you procrastinate from the work you're supposed to be doing, your brain actually releases endorphins and dopamine, which feels really good. And that's when your brain learns, this is great. We should do this again. And doing this again and again and again, creates habits. Recently in one of our coaching calls, In the Unstoppable group, I did a deep dive in talking to my clients about rituals where we can really take a moment to validate where some of our old rituals have come from, how they are sabotaging some of our biggest goals for ourselves, for our weight loss and our wellness goals this year, and how we can start to craft new rituals to replace some of the habits that are really getting in your way. Because I loved this coaching call so much. I decided to take an excerpt from the coaching call and turn it into today's podcast, because I really know that creating new rituals and leveraging your hormone health, leveraging brain science is the solution to you hitting your goals this year. It is the solution to you feeling better inside out. And if you're listening to this podcast, if you identify as a busy professional, as an overachiever, as a working mom, I want this in your hands. I do break out. my whiteboard for the purposes of this coaching call. But if you're listening to this podcast in the car, you're not watching this with video. It's perfectly okay. You will still get the gist of what we're talking about today. The power of creating rituals, the power of dopamine on rewiring your brain. You're going to totally get everything that you need just by listening to this podcast. But if you happen to be on your phone or your laptop, then I encourage you to grab the video version of today's podcast because I do break out my whiteboard and I love drawing to illustrate And Some of the points that I'm trying to make, and I hope that it is easier for you to understand how we can actually leverage brain science to hit our goals. One thing that's really important to remember as we get into today's podcast episode is rewiring your brain, letting go of older rituals and replacing them with new rituals can be an uncomfortable process. And sometimes, and this is me, so if this is you, I just wanted to really normalize and validate this, we make that discomfort mean that something is going wrong. The discomfort of saying no to over snacking or scrolling or procrastinating can feel very uncomfortable, but what we have to do on purpose is really redirect our brains to what we are saying yes to. Don't be afraid of the discomfort of change. I promise when you come into your weight loss and drove on this experience with science informed strategies, with strategies that actually will prioritize your body, your wellness, how you're feeling inside out, your rest, actually taking care of you as a whole human. There's no way that you will ever have to lose weight while also feeling deprived or restricted. So I wanted to share that sometimes it is very normal to feel uncomfortable as you do something new, as you decide to embark on the journey and also lean into the discomfort, choose it on purpose and think about it as your greatest adventure. The last thing that I want to mention is we are starting to enroll for the spring cohort of the Unstoppable group. If you have been here for a while and you've heard me talking about the Unstoppable group, it is my small group coaching program specifically designed for professional women who identifies overachievers you identify as a type a perfectionist, or maybe you don't identify as a perfectionist, but you're someone that always loves getting the A's and the gold pluses you hate making mistakes. And you know, that this is the year that you are just ready to be done with this problem. You want to lose the weight you want to lose with science informed strategies without the fads and the gimmicks. And you want a deeply supportive experience and a coach who has done the work that can guide you on a journey. I am opening up my calendar so that we can talk about whether this group is going to be a best fit for you. But if you've been following along on this podcast for a while, if you have grabbed any of my free trainings or you've been on my email list, you have likely gotten a sense about whether or not this group might be a fit for you and whether I might be the coach for you.

  I want to encourage you to stop waiting. I've talked with so many of you and there are some very common obstacles that I see coming up for professional women who hold back on taking this step forward because it is a serious step. It is a serious investment. We're not just talking about serious monetary investment. We're talking about you investing your time and making a change and that can be scary, but I want to invite you to lean into that experience. If you want this goal, I help my clients diagnose the exact reason that they're not already at their goal weight, which is something we get to do on a consult call if we talk. And then we talk about how to craft a solution that will deeply fit your life, that is science informed, that is repeatable, that actually fits into the structure of your week, given the time that you have and how we assess. and devaluate routinely to make sure we're making small tweets. The best part about the Unstoppable group is you get to learn from and coach with other professional women who have high achieving overachieving tendencies, just like you. This group is seriously one of the best parts of my week. I deeply adore and love my clients. I love. Love, love helping them navigate any and every sticky obstacle. And I love de-stigmatizing and taking away shame, embarrassment, and self criticism when you stumble, when you fall off track, when you go off the deep end and you forget yourself. I love helping coach my clients in those moments because overachievers need to have someone in their corner. So if you know that you have either been considering the Unstoppable group for a while, it has been on your radar for a while. I want to really invite you to stop waiting, ask yourself, what are you really waiting for?

  And if you are someone that is new to my orbit, and you know that this is the work that you want to do, you know, that you want to have science informed strategy, a step by step process, and also coaching on. Any and every obstacle that comes up for you, then this is going to be the best time. The group is starting in April. You can get all of the details over at burnstressloseweight.com/group. There's a button there that will ask you to apply, hit the button, answer the few questions that are there. It lets me get to know you and understand what your obstacles have been. And then on that application, you can share with me how you want to communicate with me. We can set up a consult call via zoom, we can text, we can DM, we can email back and forth. My goal in having that conversation is really to just decide if this group is the best fit for you and answer your questions and get you into the group. So head over to www.burnstressloseweight.com/group without waiting another day, and let's talk about whether this is going to be a fit for you. Okay. Without further ado, let's get into this clip from a coaching call that talks about the science of dopamine, rewiring your brain and creating rituals that deeply will restore. Not just how you feel on the inside, But we'll absolutely be the fire to help you get to your goal this year.

  I was just sharing with you, I've been going through some really choppy times with my son. My brain very quickly will offer to me some very old habits that have been a part of my repertoire of rituals that have worked well so for me. Snacking and scrolling, grabbing my Cool Ranch Doritos, turning it into a nacho pile. If there's a bottle of wine in the fridge, even if it's a week old, pouring a glass of wine, putting on the Netflix binge and just numbing out. And alongside with my Netflix binge, my new thing has been scrolling my phone and watching random reels. And you know, when you start watching one reel, I guess like the internet is so smart. It knows what reels you can watch. So I've been watching Legally Blonde reels and Sex and the City. I know the movie, I know the show, I know every single scene and yet I'm sitting there until who knows how many hours just scrolling reels. So very fascinating that our brain has created super highway habits with rituals that have created guarantee rest for us. Whether that's snacking on some food, for me, it might, and for many of us, I think it's late night snacking. It's like you've had your meals of the day and the kitchen's cleaned up and the kids are put to bed and you notice yourself snacking after dinner. That's a huge one. Or if you're bored in the workplace or you're in between meetings or patients and you're sick mid afternoon, a little pick me up, that might be a time that you have a ritual. Or Saturday afternoon at 2 p.m. when you're bored and you don't have like a list of laundry list of things to do, you notice yourself being like, Oh, I could just grab a snack. We all have specific times. I'm going to call these triggers. that our brain has created for years past some rituals. And I'm saying the word rituals and not just a habit because they were designed very purposely to help us feel better, right? So it would either be a break from stress or overwhelm or confusion or some kind of negative emotion that we're experiencing, or it would be our way of celebrating ourself for working really hard. Deserve a break, a little bit of joy, a little bit of fun, right? I kind of wanted to emphasize if you find yourself in very specific triggered times, you have to identify what they are. You're going to see what that, that's going to be part of the steps that we do today. What are your trigger times? Is it right when the kids get home from school? Right when you get home from work? Is it after the kids go to bed? Maybe it's when you have a Saturday afternoon or a vacation. You notice your brain going right to some old rituals. We want to take a moment to really validate and normalize that that experience of snacking and scrolling or maybe drinking alcohol created a 100% break from stress and joy and our brain learned every time we did that, every time we snacked and scrolled in little moments or in big moments, our brain learned a really important lesson. This works. This is a great way for me to not deal with the problem in front of me. This is a great way to have a little bit of joy. Let's turn this into a habit. And so you'll find, because our brains are so, so, so brilliant, and I say this with so much, I'm like so proud of our brains for being so smart, some very compelling, convenient, And convincing stories to push you down this pathway, a three C story. So there will always be a very compelling three C story that will drive you down these old patterns. Sometimes we get mad at ourselves. Like I know what to do, but sometimes I'm just not doing it. And I know that I should be following my plan, but I'm just not doing it. We have to validate why that is. You have a very compelling, convincing, and very convenient story to choose the lowest effort option. Our brains are hardwired for that. And it was rewarded physiologically in our brain, every time we snacked and scrolled to get a break from stress or to create a little bit of joy, dopamine was released. We've been talking about endorphins, like 100x endorphins. Endorphins are released for you to feel that momentary euphoria. When that happens, your brain also released dopamine. And dopamine is not just a feel good chemical, it's a learning chemical. It actually signals your basal ganglia, which is how your brain makes decisions. This works. Let's do this again. And every time that happens, every time your brain releases dopamine in association with an action, it creates more habits. It's a guarantee. Your brain is guaranteed rest and joy. So let's not argue with reality. We don't have to argue or thought work our way out of this or change our thoughts. I mean, we can, but I like to validate science, like how your brain is actually functioning. This is normal. You're not weak. You're not lazy. Nothing. It's just brain science. The trouble with choosing this pathway, which we've talked about in previous coaching calls, it creates 100x dopamine, right? It also creates regret. It also sabotages our body goals. It also gets us behind on our, like, let's say you have a project you're working on. It gets you behind on your project. It creates what feels like a mountain of work to do to achieve your goal. I'm going to put procrastination. Procrastination is just one way of not making a decision. Your brain is working on something. It doesn't want to decide. So it's like, let's just procrastinate with something else instead of just sitting down and doing the work. This dark blue pathway, because of dopamine, every time we did this, Every single time. It's like going to the gym. It just became a really strong muscles, a superhighway. It's created a guarantee. Your brain is guaranteed. It's going to get this, but it's also associated with regret and sabotaging goals and getting behind on things and feeling that mountain of overwhelm. So we've been talking about how do we start to rewire our brain? Because one of the big things that I really like to talk about in this group and what's really important to me for all of us together is we don't just forget. Force ourselves to stop snacking. We don't just force ourselves to fall. Like you, like, let me just do what I said. I was going to do is double down. You want to rewire our brain. You want to rewire our brain so that this becomes easier over time. How do we rewire our brain? I want everyone to either drop it in the chat or just write it down for yourself. What are your top three triggers? What are they? What are the times of the day or the times of your week or the times of your month that you know, top three, we don't have to, there's probably 10, but let's just think of the top three needle moving times of your day or week that you find yourself wanting to go down to snack, scroll, or procrastinate. For me, I know Exactly. It is when my kids come home from school a hundred percent and it's after the kids go to bed. So I have these two, these are my two main triggers for somebody. It might be Saturday afternoons or every time I go on vacation. What are your triggers? Know what they are. Yeah. Coming home from work, kids coming home from school and while you're cooking dinner. Yeah. That's a really common one. So just know your triggers. Name three, either share it in the chat or write down what are your triggers day to day or week to week. These are going to be your needle movers. Okay, not the random occasions, I'm talking about needle movers. For each of these triggers, I want to invite you to create a specific ritual for how you are going to guarantee your brain a break from stress or a little bit of joy. And when I say specific, I mean really get granular. If I was a fly watching you on the wall, give me my protocol. What is my step one, my step two, my step three, my step four, our brains in the sounds like kind of silly sometimes, but our brains need really clear directions or we're going to end up in the land of confusion. How often do we just get confused? I don't know exactly. How am I exactly supposed to do my, my ritual? Let's write it down. What would you do if you were giving somebody instructions on how to do this? Step one, put your phone away. Step two, change out of your work clothes and into something really comfortable. Step three, like you see, I'm like how specific I'm being and I'm saying this because in this moment when you're triggered, that very convenient 3C story is going to want to pick the lowest effort option. Your brain's not going to want to make decisions in that moment. It's not going to want to figure out do I do this first or do I do that first? Should I change out of my clothes first? Should I wash my face? Like, let's not give your brain any decisions. Let's make all of the decisions together for how you want to respond to your triggers. Pick one and write out your specific ritual for what you're going to do instead. And I want to encourage you to think about different triggers might require a different ritual. Part of the ritual is being willing to accept you're going to get a 10x endorphin hit. Not a hundred X. This is not going to give me the same endorphin hit as snacking and nibbling and grazing, scrolling my phone. And that's okay. This is enough. This is why it's enough. This is plenty. So this is activating. We talked about this last week, that oxytocin effect, right? It's going to relax our nervous system because we are saying I'm going to get less. of this endorphin hit that might trigger that stress cycle, right? Flight, fight for you. Like, no, I want to have more. I want to, I deserve more to relax your nervous system. Let's use science to arm ourselves with feeling better, actually accepting. I'm not getting a hundred X endorphin hit with snacking and scrolling. I'm going to get 10x though. I promise myself I'm going to get 10x. It's going to be enough. I promise it's going to be enough. And when you do this action and talk yourself through the experience, your brain will release dopamine and can rewire your brain to create new habits. And the beauty of choosing this and using the word choose on purpose, because you can always choose snacking and scrolling, never tell yourself you can't, you're not allowed, we're all adult women. We can choose either one. But choosing this one means you're also choosing pride. You're also choosing to make headway on a goal that really matters to you. You're also choosing to get yourself out of overwhelm. You're choosing to get yourself out of regret. You're choosing to get yourself out of feeling behind you're choosing that too. So this is the piece, you know, when we're saying, okay, I'm going to take 10 X endorphins instead of a hundred X. This is where we're also choosing a hundred X freedom, right? This whole, we've been kind of talking about that. 10x endorphins is associated with that 100x freedom. I love the word ritual because I feel so cozy and like I'm taking care of myself. Rituals don't have to take so much time. They don't have to take so much time. You know how much time we spend snacking, scrolling, procrastinating, and like undoing our results? I've done the math on this. We're wasting hundreds, if not thousands of hours per year in doing this, as opposed to just doing what we said. If we have a specific plan, we'll save hundreds of hours as we make progress. It's like this win, win, win situation, hundreds of hours per year. I think all working moms want a little bit more time. You will save hundreds of hours. And the last thing I want to say, I wrote up your actions speak louder than words. So what that means is just telling yourself I want to do what I said I was going to do is not enough. I want to do it. I should do it. I think I can. Maybe I will. Acting is where the dopamine release comes from. The actions that we take is the part that our brain is learning from. Just telling ourselves we're going to do something does not create habits. This is my favorite example of this, because I love to bring examples to tie things together, is if I tell my kids, Guys, no lollipops before dinner. But then my kids have a tantrum. They're going to have a tantrum because maybe I've been giving them lollipops before dinner for years and years. So they're going to have a tantrum. They're going to have a three C story. What do you mean? No lollipops before dinner. We've got lollipops before dinner. It's just one lollipop. It's so tiny. It's so like, not a big deal. We've been eating green foods for the whole entire week. It's just a little bit like. Bloop, bloop, bloop, like on and on and on and on. If they wear me down enough to the point where I'm like, you know what? It is just one lollipop. It's just not a big deal. And I let them have that lollipop. They learn that her words don't matter. If we just push really hard with our 3C story and our tantrum, she's just gonna give in. So this is where holding what we say we're going to do with really firm and loving boundaries, it might feel uncomfortable. But just remember, your brain is going to learn, Oh, it turns out that This was actually enough. Actually, this was pretty simple. Actually, this feels better. Actually, this feels amazing. We have to give our brain a chance to learn this. And again, actions, like actually acting, what we say we're going to do is where we create those habits.

   

  I hope that you enjoyed this clip from one of our coaching calls. One of the things that I really love about how we do our coaching calls inside the Unstoppable group. We meet every Wednesday for our live weekly coaching call. I will often start our coaching calls with a small teachable point. I have a very step by step framework. We have five modules that really get into how to hit your goal weight, how to feel better as a busy professional, and what I'd love to do in our coaching calls. Is to take those modules to take my process and the step by step process that you go through and turn them into little teachable points. So I talk about how to set goals and what gets in the way and how to properly set a goal and how to know if you're maybe over setting or under setting a goal and why that might be a problem. I talk about fat burning strategy and the science of really crafting your nutrition strategy so it fits into your life, but also makes you a fat burner. I talk about emotional super skills. We talk about how to manage whichever stress type you're in, whether it's fight, flight, freeze, or fawn, how to navigate feeling some of the biggest stresses that you might be experiencing as a busy professional, and to not use food or alcohol to numb out. I talk about how to take action, even when you don't feel like it, you know, that really high feeling you had at the start of the new year, or maybe when it's your birthday or any special event that high of motivation always waxes and wanes, right? A few weeks into the year, you're back to your status quo. So it's really important that we talk about how to take action. Even when you're not motivated, that's a whole module inside the Unstoppable group. And of course, one of my favorite concepts is how to routinely evaluate and assess what's happening with your results. So many times when we don't have a process or a coach to guide us in our assessments, in our evaluations of our progress. It's really easy to spin in place to make the same mistakes again and again. You might think you just have to buckle down and start over, but you end up falling off track at the same times again and again. So if any of this sounds like something, you know, you want, then I really encourage you to get on a call with me. Apply to join the Unstoppable group in this upcoming cohort so that we can work together. I know without a shadow of a doubt that professional women deserve to have a coach in their corner. You don't have to do this alone anymore. I know that there's this badge of honor sometimes thinking that we should be able to figure out all of our problems and all of our struggles by ourselves, but this is keeping most women really lonely in solving this problem. And it's just not necessary. So if this sounds like something you want and you're enjoying what you're hearing over on the podcast, then you will absolutely love the Unstoppable group. Head over to burnstressloseweight.com/group, hit the button that says apply. Now answer a few questions and I will be sending you an email with next steps. I might ask you some questions. We can set up a time to talk on a consult call and we will get you into the group. The best part about joining now is you get early access to the next cohort, which means you can dive into the library. You can start watching coaching call replays. You can start losing weight and feeling better even before your very first live call, which is so fun. I hope you guys have an amazing week. I hope you enjoyed today's podcast episode as much as I did, and I will see you at the next one. Bye. Thanks for spending this time with me on the Burn Stress, Lose Weight podcast today. I hope that you are leaving today's podcast episode feeling a little lighter and more inspired than when we started, it turns out that you don't need to have a stress free life to hit your goals on and off the scale. But when you feel more empowered to respond to your real life stresses with true strategy, we will game change how we show up and how we hit our goals. If you want to take what you're learning here on the podcast and put it into real life implementation, it might be time for us to work together in the Burn Stress, Lose Weight, Feel Unstoppable group coaching program. Head over to burnstressloseweight.com and you can learn all of the details, the nuts, the bolts, when the next group is starting and exactly how you can join. Okay, friend, I'll see you next time.