Summary 

In this episode of Burn Stress, Lose Weight, I’m diving into the "freeze" stress response, as it relates to procrastination. Through my own real example—recording this episode while running an errand I admit was a way to avoid work—I’ll illustrate how high-achieving moms often find themselves stuck, even when they seem to be moving at a hundred miles an hour. If you're struggling to follow through on your plans, feeling overwhelmed by the pressure to get things "just right," this episode will resonate with you. It’s not about being perfect, but about breaking through indecision and learning to execute even when things feel messy.

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What You’ll Learn from this Episode:

• How procrastination can disguise itself as productivity
• Why high-achievers often find themselves in a "freeze" despite constant busyness
• The pressure of perfectionism and how it holds you back
• Real-life strategies to push through procrastination and execute on your plans
• Using the ABCD framework (Awareness, Breathe, Courage, Do it anyway) to move past indecision and get things done

Listen to the Full Episode:

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Download the full transcript here.

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  Hey Unstoppable Friend, you're listening to the Burn Stress, Lose Weight podcast. I'm your host, Dr. Priyanka Venugopal, a physician turned stress and weight loss coach for professional working moms and the founder of the Burn Stress, Lose Weight, Feel Unstoppable small group coaching program. This podcast is going to inspire change at the root for you on and off the scale. I've lost a little over 60 pounds while being a busy physician mom with two young kids and an unpredictable schedule. And along my journey, which was full of many, many imperfect moments, I have learned how to skip past the fads and the gimmicks. I am on this mission now to share with you how you can have a real strategy and mindset skills to really have more of the life you want that you have worked so hard for. Let's get into it. I'm recording the stress type podcast series. This is the procrastinator, literally as I'm procrastinating. It feels very fitting to bring you along on the ride. If you can tell I'm not behind my laptop as usual with my podcast mic, I'm on my phone running a quote unquote errand. It's really me procrastinating, but I wanted to practice what I teach her on the podcast in real life. So if you hear the occasional beeping or car, it's because I'm out and about as I record this. It turns out that the three step framework, PIE, that I talked about last week, which is planning, executing, and iterating. I know that PIE is spelled P I E, but just bear with me. Planning, execute, and iterating, it's not just the framework that's going to get you to your goal weight. It is going to get you to your goals off the scale, too. This Stress Types podcast series is all about E. In the acronym executing, I have talked with so many of you and all of you have shared with me when I ask you, what is your number one obstacle to hitting your goal weight and then maintaining it? So many of you share it's execution, it's consistency, it's in your words, being disciplined. And what the intention of this four part series is, is to understand when we can execute, figure out what is actually in the way of being consistent 100 percent of the time, we will start to be able to solve the real problem. If you have not yet heard the first few episodes in this mini series, I suggest you pause here and you go start at the very beginning and really so that you understand the foundational core principles of what we are talking about. But in a nutshell, we are addressing the four stress types that ever drive the Smart, resourceful, high achiever to ever snack, nibble, graze, go off plan in little and big moments. In this mini series, we are covering the four stress types, which is fight, flight, freeze, and fawn. So we've already covered flight, which is hiding or basically sticking your head in the sand from engaging with an uncomfortable situation, a life, a real life circumstance that you feel stressed with. We talked about last week, the fight response, which is when you feel like you just deserve a break or weight loss should be easier when you have some righteousness around your weight loss journey or even some scarcity.

  We talked about how that will trigger your fight response. And then today we are talking about the freeze response, which I'm going to call the procrastinator. Freeze is a really interesting stress type. especially as it applies to the busy professional mom who is often not realizing how much you are in freeze. Because you're a resourceful, smart overachiever, you are actually going a hundred miles an hour. So it's like, how can I be in freeze when I feel like my life feels so chaotic? I'm constantly on the go. You're probably making hundreds of decisions per day, both in the workplace and personally in your personal life with your kids, with your family. So you might wonder like, how can I be in freeze when I feel like I'm going a hundred miles an hour? The way that freeze shows up for the professional working mom is indecision, rumination, second guessing. And for, if you're anything like me, it will show up as procrastination under the guise of productivity. Today's actually a perfect example. So I'm about to leave on a trip and I have planned out my entire week, right? P in the pie framework. I have planned out the structure of my week when I want to. To record these podcast episodes when I want to get certain work done that I need to get done before my trip. And part of the planning was for me to record this podcast episode on procrastination for all of you. Now, when it came down to actually executing E for executing. When it came down to executing on the plan, I had some thoughts that drove me to feel frozen, that drove me to feel that freeze stress cycle response, which ended me in a CVS parking lot. We're going to use the think, feel, act cycle because none of our actions happen in a vacuum. I didn't just end up in the CVS parking lot because I really, really needed to get this laundry detergent that I have. I ended up here because of a feeling that I was having about getting the work done about executing on the plan that I made for myself. And the feeling that I was having was I was feeling stuck. Now I want all of us to really think about this because as a smart resourceful woman, you don't necessarily identify as someone who gets stuck. stuck because you're a doer, you're resourceful, you end up figuring it out. But I want us all to really just take this to the lens of how much longer are we spending on solving real life problems, getting real work done, done and dusted because we are second guessing, ruminating, spending any time wanting to perfect some of the work that we want to get done. Because I care so much about this series and what Burn Stress Lose Weight as a podcast means to me and the impact that I wanted to have for all of you, I noticed some of my own inner perfectionist thoughts coming up around this specific episode. The sentences that I was telling myself, I had thoughts like, I want to phrase this just right. I really want for people to feel impacted by the message of this podcast. I want to do a really good job. I shared just a couple of real life thoughts that I was having for this specific podcast episode, but the thoughts that I have noticed coming up for smart, high achieving women that makes them feel a lot of pressure and maybe makes you feel stuck are thoughts that are laced in perfectionism.

  Even if you don't identify as a perfectionist, as someone who is a smart, resourceful, professional woman, you likely have some flavor of wanting to, quote unquote, get it just right. You want to pick the best strategy. You want to make the best decision. You want to execute on your plan perfectly. You want to Django block your calendar so that everything fits exactly right. So a sentence that you might tell yourself, the thought you might have is, I want to get it just right, or some flavor of that. Really check in with yourself. Sounds good on paper, but how does this actually feel in my body? For me, that type of sentence, which I tell myself all the time as a mom, in my business, with work, in my relationships, I want to get it just right, for me creates the feeling of freedom pressure. And when I feel pressure and I'm not aware of it, and I'm living kind of in my unconsciousness, I revert to a lot of the habits that I learned actually in my education in going through school, college, medical school, residency. I learned at a very young age that I have to get it just right. I have to pick the best answer.

  I learned from that place of pressure that overworking really led for me to have a lot of solid results, right? I got. Through medical school, I passed a roll of boards. I became a board certified physician with that sentence in my mind of, I have to get it just right. I need to do a really good job. My perfectionistic thoughts were really rewarded in my educational upbringing. But the trouble is when you really take that thought, I need to get it just right. I have to do my best. If I don't execute perfectly, then I'm really going to fail. That feeling of pressure is also what is driving our overworking in our mind. So if you're someone that's like, I'm just want to be done thinking about this, this is a big part of the problem. Now it's totally possible that you procrastinate on executing your plan simply because you just want to break, right? This is kind of going back to the flight stress cycle. The way that I want all of us to think about procrastinating from a freeze standpoint, from a freeze stress cycle response is because you find yourself in indecision. So today's example is perfect. I made a plan to record this podcast episode to have it done, to have it sent off. And I noticed myself having a lot of thoughts. I want to get it just right. I really want to deliver a high quality episode. I really want it to be impactful. And I started to feel a lot of pressure, the pressure to get it right. And because of that, I found myself ruminating and writing a draft and writing some notes. I'm like, Oh, this is not just right. This is not capturing what I wanted to capture and what my brain did. in that moment because I did not want to stay in indecision. I want to just not think about it anymore. I was like, Oh yeah, we need laundry detergent from CVS. Let's go take a little break because maybe later I will have magically figured this out when we are unaware of this tendency. And this is just a habit where we kick off that feeling, right? We feel pressure. We feel stuck. We end up kicking a decision that we could make right now work that we could just execute on right now.

  We could just put in the rep, just to do it. We kick it off to later. And I know that in the moment, sometimes procrastinating feels really good, right? It felt really good. I'm going to be honest. I'm sitting here in CVS. Like I love CVS. I love staples. I love target. I love going to these shops. I love going to run errands because it does feel like a break for my brain. It feels like a break from my life, right? So yes, it does feel momentarily good to not stretch your brain because your brain is being stretched to make that decision. Your brain is being stretched to put the words onto paper. Your brain is being stretched to execute on the plan. Your brain is being stretched to finish that project that you said you were going to finish. Action actually is uncomfortable. So it did feel good for me to say, I'm going to just take a break with CVS and get some laundry detergent because I have to do that anyway, right? It has to be productive. That's why I call it procrasti working. It felt productive for me to do that. But at the same time, I was able to catch while I was driving here. Actually, I'm like, Ooh, Priyanka, this is procrastination at its finest. The way that procrastination or this freeze response shows up with weight loss, is you never feel fully committed to your plan. Either you don't make a plan at all. You might find yourself in researching more and more Googling the next thing, going plan after plan, PDF after PDF, and never actually commit to one specific fat burning weight loss strategy. So that might be you where you're not able to actually make the decision itself on the plan. But the second piece of where this free cycle response comes in is to take that plan and now put it into execution. You're going to find all of the very convenient. convincing and very compelling reasons and justifications to take breaks from executing your plan.

  The way that the think, feel, act cycle shows up in a freeze stress cycle response, or what I'm calling the procrastinator, is you'll have a thought like, I have to get it just right. I have to choose perfectly. I need the absolute best strategy. I have like some flavor of perfectionism around you needing to choose perfectly to have results. Otherwise why put in your full effort, right? You're going to feel this. pressure or even feeling stuck and the actions that you're going to take is you will never make a decision. You will stay in indecision and then ruminate and ruminate and ruminate on it and you will keep kicking off the decision to later. Here's the trouble with this. Not only does this drive us to not have a solid fat burning action plan, which you need to lose the weight you want, you will keep on feeling that pressure. The pressure will feel like it's forcing you to following you around like a dark cloud. Your brain, when it procrastinates, when it stays in indecision, when it kicks off a decision you could make today to tomorrow, when it comes to CVS to get the laundry detergent, rather than just sit down and execute on the plan that you said you were going to do, your brain learns something. Your brain learns that this problem is a little bit too much for me. There's another sneaky lesson that our subconscious learns every time we procrastinate. That is that we have to feel good to make high level decisions that we have to feel calm or confident or certainty or peace or maybe inflow to execute on your plan.

  And this is going to be the part of you that creates a very convincing, convenient story that you just need more motivation, that you just need to feel good, that you just need to be more confident before you can execute on the plan. Your most primitive brain, that part of you that wants to not expend any effort or energy, gets rewarded. So part of staying in this think, feel, act cycle that is driven by the freeze response, driven by a need to pick the perfect plan, execute perfectly, have the absolute best strategy, do it the exact right way that creates a feeling of pressure. While it feels really useful, it feels like it's so productive because maybe it created some results for you in the past. It is also creating a freeze response with you hitting your body goal. It is making you kick the plan to tomorrow. It is making you wait season after season. You will find the most convincing reasons to not take action today on your plan. I want to use today as such a vivid example, such a tangible example with my CVS laundry detergent in hand, how I use the ABCD bridge that I have been talking about on the series to turn this around and actually record this podcast episode when I said I would. 

  A is awareness. Just driving here. As I was driving, I could feel in my body. I was feeling this pressure. I was feeling stuck. I could feel that feeling that was like, I want to get it just right. I want this podcast episode to be perfect. So just becoming aware, I just caught the sentence in my mind, the thoughts that I was having around recording this podcast episode.

  Then B, breathe. I was like, let's just take a pause, Priyanka. I know we want to do such a good job, but kicking this decision off to later, writing or recording this podcast episode to later is not going to make this podcast episode So much better. I mean, maybe it would be a little bit better with my podcast, mic and my notes. Maybe it would be just a little bit better, but it will be just fine. C, courage. Let me tell you, it's not easy sitting in this parking lot where people are walking by me, looking like I'm crazy, talking to myself in a camera with, listen, this is B minus work right now. You all know how I feel about high quality work.

  If you're an overachiever, you want high quality results, high quality execution. This, what I'm doing right now, this is B minus, right? The quality of my sound is probably not the best. It's not like my podcast mic. I don't have my amazing notes where I can perfectly tell you exactly step by step the way that I wanted to. I might be repeating myself on this episode because I don't have those notes. So this is B minus work. And I have to tell you, for someone like me, who is an overachiever, who loves doing only high quality things, this feels so uncomfortable and also welcome to feeling uncomfortable. This is where we get to practice courage, prove to our brain, it's actually okay to do B minus work, but we're getting it done, which leads me to D do it anyway. Right? So I had that moment. I'm driving to CVS like Priyanka. Wow. We're really procrastinating with this laundry detergent. I know that it feels important. I can catch you want to get this just right. I know your podcast is so important to you. Your listeners are so important to you. I value your time so much.

  I want this to be so high value. I know that understanding stress cycle responses is the gateway to your success. Talk about me feeling a lot of pressure to share this information with you. And also, it was driving me to procrastinate on recording this episode, which is, I think, just so funny. Practicing courage, letting myself feel uncomfortable, letting it be imperfect, even if the words are jumbled, even if I'm repeating myself. And now, sitting here in the parking doing it when I said I was going to do it. It feels so good because here we are at the end of the podcast episode. The intention of today's episode really is to understand that your procrastination habits or procrastinate working is not happening in a vacuum. The reason that you procrastinate on the plans that you have made for yourself is because of a thought and a feeling that you're having about an obstacle, about a project, or even about your weight loss. I want to add a caveat that I think applies to all the stress cycle responses but really does apply to this one. For you to get out of freeze, for you to get out of indecision or rumination or second guessing or overthinking your plan and your execution, you do need to have a proper step by step framework, a proper plan that will not just make you a fat burner, but help you feel satisfied as you lose weight.

  So I think that that's really important because sometimes your body is rejecting your weight loss plan because your plan sucks. If you have a history of, you know, over restriction and a lot of diet issues, mentality around weight loss, that might be a reason that your brain is kicking up this stress cycle response is trying to get your attention, that this is not a strategy that is sustainable in the long run, I thought that was really important to bring in on this specific podcast episode. This is why you really do need a that proper three step framework pie you need proper planning that will make you a fat burner knowing how to make strategic nutrition decisions where you're getting enough food enough of the right food to make you a fat burner while feeling satisfied so you lose weight in a way that really will last a lifetime but part two right E is executing on that plan consistently understanding the only reason that you ever don't follow through on that plan Any part of your weight loss strategy is because of a stress cycle response.

  And lastly, I is iterating, knowing how to take your results on a routine basis and iterate and learn from them without drama. It's going to just game change how you lose weight. I cannot wait to teach this to you live. It is happening October 4th on a Friday. It is my Burn Stress, Lose Weight, Feel Better live training that I would love to see you at. You can grab your seat for free over at burnstressloseweight/masterclass. I hope you all have an amazing day and really start to catch where are you feeling that freeze response coming up. If you notice that it's coming up with weight loss, with picking a weight loss strategy, you might notice that desire to procrastinate on decisions to ruminate on things, to second guess things, to put off what you could do today. You might notice it coming up in other parts of your life. This is one of my favorite parts about coaching in the Unstoppable group, because you know, when you start to execute consistently in one area, you will start to catch those patterns in others. You start to change so many corners of your life as a busy professional working mom. And just this response, this freeze response, if we start to understand it and overcome it, you will get back. Hours and hours of time per week, not just in productivity, but in mental bandwidth. I'll see you next week when we talk about the stress cycle response. It's going to be a good one. Thanks for spending this time with me on the Burn Stress Lose Weight podcast today. I hope that you are leaving today's podcast episode feeling a little lighter and more inspired than when we started. It turns out that you don't need to have a stress free life to hit your goals on and off the scale, but when you feel more empowered to respond to your real life stresses with true strategy, we will game change how we show up and how we hit our goals. If you want to take what you're learning here on the podcast and put it into real life implementation, it might be time for us to work together in the Burn Stress, Lose Weight, Feel Unstoppable Group Coaching Program. Head over to burnstressloseweight.com and you can learn all of the details, the nuts, the bolts, when the next group is starting and exactly how you can join. Okay, friend, I'll see you next time.