Summary 

In this special episode, we’re doing something a bit different. I’m sharing a deep dive into the heart of one of my coaching sessions from the Unstoppable group. This episode is all about letting go of the past and setting the stage for a fresh start as we transition into the fall, which I like to think of as the “New Year” for working moms.

If you’ve been feeling the weight of summer’s indulgences or struggling with the mindset that you need to double down to “undo the damage,” this episode will resonate with you. I’ll walk you through a powerful coaching concept that reveals why the cycle of discouragement keeps us stuck and how to break free from it. You’ll learn how to forgive yourself, release the past, and move forward with a sustainable and joyful approach to your goals.

Be sure to check out my private podcast and discover the steps to burn stress + fat for lasting weight loss here: https://www.theunstoppablemombrain.com/bodyreset

What You’ll Learn from this Episode:

• The concept of the "Think, Feel, Act" cycle and how it impacts your weight loss journey.
• The importance of combining strategy with mindset coaching for real, sustainable results.
• Why the idea of "doubling down" can be counterproductive and how to shift your approach.
• How to let go of past mistakes and create a fresh, empowering start.
• Practical steps to break the cycle of discouragement and move forward with compassion and determination.

Listen to the Full Episode:

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Featured on the Show:

• Want to work with me? Learn about The Unstoppable Group by clicking here.
• Get access to my new private podcast by clicking here. 

Download the full transcript here.

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  Hey, Unstoppable friend, welcome back to the podcast. I am going to be doing something today that I don't think I have ever done in the history of this podcast, but today's podcast episode is actually going to be a teaching that I did for my clients in the Unstoppable group. So the Unstoppable group, if you are unfamiliar is my six month intimate small group coaching program, specifically for professional working moms who want to burn stress, lose weight, feel unstoppable as you navigate your weight loss journey while you also are really embarking and handling real life challenges and obstacles. It is something I am deeply passionate about. I adore and love my clients. And a lot of the work that we do together in the Unstoppable group is equal parts strategy, equal parts science informed decision making, where I really teach you how to do that, some very specific tools on how to burn fat and lose weight in a way that feels truly sustainable. And also we'd have equal parts coaching. Do you need to have that strategy alongside coaching? Because what ends up happening for so many women, for so many professional moms, high achievers, you'll have a plan on paper. That is amazing. If you executed that plan, you're going to see results, right? This is across the board with not just with weight loss, but with projects, right? If you just. execute it on the calendar that you've set aside, you will achieve your result. But oftentimes what we're not aware of our thoughts and our feelings, something will come in the way something will come in the way that drives us to procrastinate on taking action that drives us to be inconsistent with our execution. And that is where coaching is essential to pushing the needle forward. What we do in the Unstoppable group is you learn the strategy on how to burn fat, lose weight on it. Day one of our work together, and I mean, if you get access to the group in advance, you get it on like day negative 30 and you can start losing weight with the strategy. But what we are doing in the group together is I help my clients expertly evaluate their execution and implementation without judgment, shame, blame, and criticism. And that's actually kind of what this concept in today's conversation is all about. It's the end of the summer, we are thinking about maybe some of our summer weight gain. Maybe you came into your summer vacation thinking, I don't even want to think about weight loss. I just want to enjoy time with my family, with my friends. I have zero desire to even step on a scale. Now you might be looking at the quote unquote damage of the summer, right? And if that's you, it's totally okay. I want you to know that we are going to solve for that on this episode. And today's podcast, the theme is really. Thinking about how you want to come into the school year, the fall, I think of it as almost like new year's for working moms. If you have young children, the kids are going back to school. You're coming back to a routine. You might feel that desire and that excitement of having a fresh start. I love a good fresh start. I think that they are highly valuable when used strategically, but sometimes we can come into our fresh starts with this idea that we need to double down. Maybe you went through your summer vacation without a thought to your body goals, without a thought to weight loss. It's okay. That's you. You might notice that the scale either didn't move at all, or you lost a pound when you wanted to lose 10, or maybe you gained weight this summer, you gained five pounds, 10 pounds, 15. You might have this idea that you need to double down to undo the damage. And if that's you, today's podcast episode is going to be for you. It is. I mean, I'm feeling a little excited and giddy at this idea. I've never done this before, but I'm actually going to be taking out a chunk of one of my calls where I was teaching a concept to my clients. And basically you're getting a flavor of how I teach my clients concepts, skills, and tools. And then usually what happens after I teach my clients. Real life concept that I'm noticing in the group or that I'm noticing, you know, just in real life. We then get to coaching So I teach my clients this concept and then what happens after I teach my clients anything new or any new concepts We open it up for open coaching.

   

  So after this what ends up happening I'm not sharing the coaching part of this call into this podcast episode, but this is where Each of my clients will raise their hand, they'll get coached on how this concept has come up for them and how to strategically take the concept and really apply it to their lives. I cannot tell you how impactful it is to have a mindset coach in your corner that not only deeply believes in you, but that For a fact knows that this is all figure out a ball. You can burn fat, lose weight with sustainable strategies. Truly. When you have somebody in your corner, when you're not trying to navigate this on your own, it's just not necessary. I feel so strongly about this as you can tell. I mean, I don't even know how long this intro is, but I do want to set the stage for this episode. I teach my clients. It's something I have touched on this concept in the podcast before all of the results that you have today on the scale after your summer vacation, whether it's up or stagnant is the result of the think, feel, act cycle. This means that all of your actions and inactions didn't happen in a vacuum. Your Snacking, nibbling through boredom or stress, you following your plan or you being inconsistent is never happening in a vacuum. Anytime you take any action or inaction is because of a feeling. Today I'm going to be using discouragement, but you can think about this through the filter of your life, what emotion you have as you look at the number on the scale today, moving into the new year, and knowing that the feeling that you have, whether it's discouragement or frustration or annoyance is coming from a thought that you're having. So the think, feel act cycle is a fairly old concept in cognitive behavioral therapy, and it helps us really assess and figure out why we have the results that we do. So I wanted to set the stage that that is something I'm going to be using in today's coaching call and I'm using an example of you have gone through your vacation and you have gained weight. In today's example, I'm just using four pounds that you gained four pounds or summer vacation. For you, it might be more and that's okay. And maybe now you're back to your doubling down energy. You're ready to get to it and you've lost a pound this week and coming into the new year, how you might want to think about not just quote unquote, undoing the damage of the summer, but how you want to start creating really a sustainable mindset. On how you're going to hit your goal, let's get into the coaching call. And I really hope you enjoy this one. If you want to reach your ideal weight and create lightness for your body, you need to have simplicity, joy, and strategic decisions infused into your life. I'm a physician turned life and weight loss coach for ambitious working moms. I've lost over 60 pounds without counting points, calories, or crazy exercise plans. Most importantly, I feel calm and light on the scale and in my life. There's some delicious magic when you learn this work and the skills I'm going to be teaching you. Ready? Let's get to it. 

  I've seen it happen time and time again, especially with. Professional working moms, high achievers, this double down, we're gonna talk about doubling down, needing to undo the damage of last week, last month, last year, this idea that we have to double down today to undo the damage. And I'm going to talk you through how to really let go of the past so that it stops sabotaging your present. I have now reviewed enough Weekly audits and monthly audits that when we don't have the skill, and this is just a learnable skill. This is the good news. When we don't have the skill of letting go of the past, we will keep recreating it. I think all of us have experienced those moments where like, maybe the scale went up or maybe you gained weight back. We've all had that experience. I can remember so many times I'd lose weight and then I gained back, right? 20 pounds. I've been on this roller coaster. And every time I would gain it back, I would feel so discouraged and perpetuate more discouragement, right? And I would just stay stuck. So this is a skill that I think is essential to not just losing the weight, but really feeling totally different in your weight loss experience. And I want everyone to just drop in the chat box. Has anyone, has everyone experienced this feeling like I just need to double down? Maybe you went on vacation. Or you had a weekend that you went off plan or you stepped on the scale and maybe you weren't just even surprised. Maybe you even thought you were going to like lose weight and you step on the scale and it's like zero pounds down or 0. 1 pounds, right? Like something ridiculous. You're like, what? Seriously? That's it? And you feel an emotion that drives you to think, I need to double down. I need to undo this damage. I need to undo the past. What is the feeling that you have that drives you to double down? Maybe you haven't stepped on the scale in months and you step on the scale and it's up like 15 pounds. Okay. Anger, frustration, self hatred, failure, disappointment. Okay. So we have an emotion here. I'm just going to call this discouragement, but I want everyone to take it to the filter of what emotion is for you. Anger, frustration, hatred, disappointment, discouragement. And just catch when we have that feeling and our brain, because she has learned overworking works. If I just double down, if I can just undo the damage, Then I never have to feel this emotion ever again. I want everyone to just see why our brain ever goes to doubling down. Let me like cut out all the carbs for three days. Let me do no flour, no sugars until I'm back down. Let me get extra strict. Let me do an extra long fast. Let me do a juice cleanse. Let me like enter, you name your flavor of fat or gimmick. Let me just do this so I can undo the damage and the reason that we are doing that is because we think that is how we can prevent ever feeling this way again. Think about the feeling that you all just shared. I'm going to just use discouragement because that's been the one for me. What is the sentence you're telling yourself about the number on the scale that makes you feel this way? I want to paint a really specific example. You were up on the scale after a vacation, a weekend, a date night last week, and this week you're like, I need to undo the damage of last week. This week you're down a pound and it's, and you're still discouraged, angry, disappointed, frustrated and you're like, I need to just double down. I need to undo this. The one pound is not, has not yet undone my four pounds, right? It's not, it doesn't feel like it's enough. That is not good enough, Sandra, exactly. It feels like a drop in the bucket, right? I gained four, one is nothing. I need to still, I have a lot to catch up on. This isn't working. I can't do this. What else do we do? So we have that feeling, right? The discouragement. You're down a pound, but you're not, you haven't got, gotten to the four yet. So you feel the discouraged, disappointed, frustration. I need to just double down. I need to undo the damage. What else do you do? Drop in the chat box. What other actions do you take? Get extra strict. Short with the husband. No fault of his own. Okay. So you become irritable. Probably become irritable with ourselves too. Negative self talk. Self blamed. Judgment. Yeah, you decrease trust and commitment to the plan. What are we, what else are we not doing? We're not becoming curious. We don't let the past go. While we are in self blame and judgment and negative self talk, and I, you know, I, the one pound is not enough because I have, I, I gained four. So one's not enough. We're living in our past. In your past, by definition, you cannot create a new future. So the result that we create when we double down, try to undo the damage, become irritable, have a lot of blame, judgy energy, negative self talk, We create the result of it never being enough. It is never enough. When this happens, it's never enough. Your primitive brain, which is so brilliant now has the exact reason to not put in the effort. Like why bother? It's not going to really do anything anyway. And the worst part is you keep believing that you can't do this. You keep believing the story. This worked in school, right? If you got a hundred percent on a test last time and you got a 78 percent this time. It makes a lot of sense that your brain's comparing it to the 100%. Like, 70, it's not enough. I need to double down. I need to study harder. I need to do more. Where has this double down self blame model come from? It was a habit that was created in your educational system. It was likely modeled to you that this was the way that you go get the A. You just have to double down on studying, double down on your effort, double down on discipline because it worked, you would do it and your grades would come back up. So your brain just learned that this was a valuable habit to have. We just want to notice where did this come from? You're not wrong. Nothing's wrong with you. It's, it's been literally trained into us through our educational system. I'm calling this the Debbie Downer Discouragement Spiral. We can live, listen, I have had experiences. You all, you all tell me, what's the longest you've been in a Debbie Downer Discouragement Spiral? I have been in a Debbie Downer Discouragement Spiral for 18 months. That was the longest. I was in a discouragement spiral, which was like, I would have these half ass efforts, like, okay, this is the week. And then like the first obstacle that came in, I was like, screw it. Forget it. Why bother 18 months? I think I gained 20 pounds. That was the longest time that I stayed in that discouragement spiral. That's where I learned about this as an idea that this is a real thing. Discouragement perpetuates more discouragement when we don't have a process to interrupt it. So I'm curious, drop in the chat. What is the longest that you have been in a discouragement, a Debbie Downer discouragement spiral? It's okay. They're normal. They're going to listen. You're going to have them again, but now you're going to have tools and skills to get out of it. Okay. So I want you to think about what's the longest. Katie, about six weeks. Thanks. So let's talk through. exactly how you walk out of a discouragement spiral.

  Number one, they're going to happen. Nothing is wrong. If you step on the scale and it's up a pound, we're not going to have like a yay, go me moment. You might feel discouraged, right? It's normal. We have to notice the discouragement or the anger or the frustration, whatever that emotion is. We have to just notice it. We have to validate it with compassion. We have to make a note. of what part of the motivational triad created this result. Get coached on that. I want you to notice when you try to do this part by yourself, if you end up recreating your result, the motivational triad, I'm just going to put a triangle here, just so we can remember the motivational triad is anytime you eat, when your body is not actually hungry, it is for one of three reasons. It is because you're trying to take a break or numb out from life stress. or boredom. There's a negative emotion that you want to break from. The other one is you just want to have some more joy, some more pleasure, some more fun. And you're using food to create pleasure and you want the lowest effort option, the lowest hanging fruit option to get there. So food, alcohol, the scroll is going to be the way you do it. So once you validate with compassion, the next question that you can ask yourself and bring it to coaching is, I wonder why I gained those four pounds to begin with, or I wonder why I got stuck. It will always come back to something in the mindset, something in the planning or something in the execution that comes back to the motivational triad.

  And then this is the part that's really hard. Give yourself permission to let it go. Give yourself permission to forgive. If you feel like forgiveness is something that you need to do for yourself. And then the last step is you start again like you never left off. This, this last two pieces of giving yourself permission to let the past go, I think the reason that we don't do that is because we think then I'm becoming complacent. If I'm being compassionate with myself, if I let the past go, then I'm being complacent. But I want to share what I have been learning over the years and what I've seen now in coaching on this topic, not forgiving yourself, not offering compassion to yourself, not like letting the past go and coming into your current weight loss strategy and how you're showing up this week from a place of blame and judgment is a very, very convenient way to stay in, in action.

  Let me just say that again, not forgiving yourself, staying in this self blame and judgment, negative self talk, which drives micro quits. It's a very convincing, convenient, and compelling way to just not put in your full effort now. Can we all see that? How, how, how convenient is this for your primitive brain to just not take any action? Even though it feels terrible, discouragement, anger, self, like being mad at yourself, it feels so useful, but I want you to see how your primitive brain will hold onto that emotion. Very convenient to not put forth your full effort. So the last thing I want to say on this, and then we'll get to coaching is talking to yourself with compassion. Compassion will not make you complacent. It is active complacent is the absence of action. It's quitting. So it turns out doubling down and getting into self judgment and self blame is actually the roadmap to complacency. Your brain can't handle that so much. It takes breaks. Compassion is active. It's active. It's fierce and it will feel harder. Why is it going to feel harder? Number one, you're not used to it. And number two, it's how you have to, it's going to be the reason you have to put forth an effort now. So it might feel hard for that reason. Permission to let it go does not mean that we are going to the land of just cheerleadering, like just positive thinking. We can't do positive thinking. We can't just let go of the past without taking new action. This is why number five is so important. We let it go, but then we're like, okay, and now what? How do I want to show up now? What tweaks do I want to make based on the coaching that I got? Was it my mindset? Was it a strategy piece or was it my execution of the strategy? That's how we uncover in our weekly evaluations and our monthly assessments, we figure out what was the piece that I need to tweak that I need to focus on. Let me tell you this analogy. I have to get to a party by six o'clock. And because I mean, I have a tendency of running late sometimes, maybe all the time, and I'm working on it, but what I will try to do, I'm leaving at 5:45, the place is 45 minutes away. I'm like, Ooh, I can, I let me make up the time. I've left late. I should have left at 5:15. No way. I'm going to make it at six o'clock, but I'm like, maybe if I just speed, I'll just magically get there by six. I will start speeding and inevitably I will hit a cop who will pull me over and slow me down even more. So not only am I not going to get there by 6:30. Now I'm getting there by 6:45. I'm feeling so mad at myself for having not to pay 100. Fine. I'm more late to the party. So I paint the story because this is the thing we do. We're supposed to get to the party at six o'clock. Maybe we left late. This is the, like there was a mindset issue, a strategy issue or an execution issue. Why did you leave at 5:45 and not 5:15? Right? Why did you not leave on time? There's a mindset strategy or implementation reason now to undo the damage from makeup for lost time. By what? Like driving at 200 miles an hour. It's like literally not possible. I pull in, I get pulled over, I get more delayed. And not only that, my whole experience of driving to those parties, trying to get there on time is like so much yelling in my mind is happening. And then I'm yelling at my husband because of you were late or because of the kids really like the whole entire experience is terrible, we're going to a party where supposedly we're supposed to have fun and I'm yelling the whole entire time.

  How many of us have experienced that? Right? So kind of like the analogy here is acknowledging I get in the car 545 and I'm like, listen, guys. Acknowledging. We're going to be late. Sucks. We're going to be those people, those people, that walk in late. Oh, we got into the car 515. I wanted to make a note. I want to do a little assessment. I wonder why I got in at 5:45 and not 5:15. So next time we can solve for this. I'm going to give myself permission to let it go. Let's get on like we never left off. Let's go have fun at the party. I'm telling you, this is going to game change how we experience our life, right? If we'd stop thinking we need to undo the damage of the past.

  Hope you enjoyed this version of a podcast episode. I have never done it before where I've taken a portion of a coaching call or a workshop that I have done exclusively just for my clients in the Unstoppable Group and ever shared it on the podcast, but it felt really fitting. for listening. to discuss this idea that we need to double down or muscle harder through weight loss to undo the damage of the summer. And also really quick, if you've been following along the podcast, next week is a big week in the Unstoppable universe. We are changing the name of the podcast. I'm releasing the brand new name, not just this podcast, but my Instagram handle with my website. You're going to see a little bit of a refresh happening. And really the intention is to make what we are doing together in the Unstoppable orbit, a lot more clear, a lot more simple. So you understand exactly what we were doing together and my mission for you. So I hope that you are all subscribed to this show. And if you feel called to do so, I would absolutely love it. If you could share this specific episode with a friend or a colleague Facebook, send me an email. So that somebody else can also benefit from what we're talking about today, which is how to drop down that double down energy. So you can come into your reset into the school year from a place of really a clean mindset so you can have sustainable results so you can drop even 20 pounds by the new year. I want you to know it is possible for you. So I really hope you enjoyed this episode and I cannot wait for you all to join me next week in celebrating the brand new release of this podcast, the new name and celebrate it with me. I hope you guys all have an amazing week and I will see you next time. Thanks for listening to the Unstoppable Mom Brain Podcast. It's been an honor spending this time with you and your brilliant brain. If you want more resources or information from the show, head on over to theunstoppablemombrain.com.